tribute group (you know the guys who put dustbin lids on their feet and make funky music with them?) Apart from my upstairs neighbours aren't making funky music. They are making a funking racket.
Seriously, nobody walks that loudly. Nobody. They must be doing it on purpose. They are probably wearing clogs, or some sort of lead filled moon-boot, that causes them to slam their foot down with every step. That or they are some sort of human-elephant hybrid. I'm not ruling anything out.
Anyway, I was thinking of how I should deal with upstairs-hell-neighbours. I thought about writing a polite letter, but then I realised that no one making that level of noise deserves politeness. Then I thought about murdering upstairs-hell-neighbours; though this thought crosses my mind every time I hear what sounds like an obese Fred Astaire on an alarming mixture of crystal meth, caffeine and jelly beans making his way across my ceiling, I realise this is a little extreme.
So I settled on writing a note, which I think captures a perfect balance of threat and neighbourly politeness. I think I make myself quite clear.
(My camera is crap. I will have to put up the picture of the note in two halves. If you saw it in real life it would be better. If you want to see it in real life, send me your address and I'll mail it to you. If you don't receive it within two months then I've been brutally murdered by upstairs-hell-neighbours whilst retrieving the note to send to you.)
This is brilliant! I must admit you have more self restraint that I do. I think I would have gone and stapled the note to their head just to make sure the message was entirely clear.
ReplyDeleteAmazing drawing!! Haha :) xx
Those neighbours have moved out now. Only to be replaced by even noisier ones. They were still marching across the floor at gone 11 last night. I'm starting to think another carefully worded note may be in order...
ReplyDeleteThankyouu! I spent a lot of time and effort on that drawing. ;) Xx